Plotbunnies
by Mommy Silver
Summary: Total Madness Alert! Plotbunnies on the LOOSE! Dr. Silver Winged Dragon will inform you about them. Not exactly GW, but it started out in the Dutch GW forum. So I put it here. R&R please? There will be also a Dutch version.
1. Plotbunny infection disease

All right, as people can read in my profile, I am studying to become a nurse. Hopefully I can study on to become a doctor but that's only a dream.

A year ago, me and my friends from this site had some trouble with Plot bunnies. You know, these little lovely creatures with teeth, biting your finger and won't letting go until you've written a story. Cute creatures, until they bite.

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Chapter 1: Plotbunny infection disease

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_::puts on white doctors lab coat and walks to desk in a neovictorian style (if it exists, but it sounds so much fun) and takes seat in soft squirrelly leather desk chair – I had it before Trowa Squirrel was pardoned. Coughs loud and looks at those present::_

Ladies, gentlemen and infected! May I please bid tee welcome at this lecture about Plot bunny infection disease. As we all know most for a are contaminated with very dangerous Plot bunny Infection Disease. This can not be stopped with medication against sinusitis. I would like to inform you about Plot bunnies and the medical treatment against it. But I would also like to inform you about the consequences of this disease…

As we all know, everyone joining this site has the so called Plot bunny fever; it can result in a severe sinusitis like Ms. Omnicat had back then. As a doctor I can conclude that this is a very contagious phenomena. It can results in making animal sounds – like Peep, Mrauw and Squeak – as well as an uncontrolled desire to write the fic that pops up in the mind, you can't stop it and neither can you learn, read, sleep or eat until it is done are just a few of the symptoms.

The spreading of this very contagious phenomena takes place through the internet, but has it's origin within the very first forum on this site. It is possible that no one can predict how this will spread, probably to other forums so other guests will be infected. The results of that can't be overseen and it will probably be a small pandemia or a global epidimia.

Now there is a proposal to shut down all forums at once, but this will do nothing. The plot bunny infection disease is for life and chronic. Further research will have to prove whether this disease is chronic progressive, aggressive of very fluctuating.

The results of this hypothesis is that people will be contaminated with the virus for life, have to shut down internet, destroy the personal computer or stop the forum at once, but it's useless. Once contaminated, you will be contaminated. So I fear the worst. If you want to get rid of this, start to pray. Pray a lot, stand upside down and find a shrink to get rid of your animal sounds unless your male or female partner appreciates this at certain adult activities.

There is no vaccine against this apparently innocent virus. Since viruses can mutate – just take a look at the ever returning influenza virus that returns every year in a different form – it will be useless to design a vaccine. Further research has to prove whether this is a virus. It can also be a parasite (protozoa), a bacteria or a fungus. Probably there can be a vaccine in one of those cases, but it will take years of research after that discovery. Our patients don't have those years.

Probably a preventive treatment can save you as a newcomer (if you desire that) Leave the forum at once and never think about it again. It can save you. If you are so curious that you return after a while, the plot bunny infection disease has already struck.

If so, may God, or Allah or whatever White Power you believe in, protect you against this horrible virus and save you for the troubles to come with this disease.

Thank you for reading this lecture, created by Doctor Silver Winged Dragon.

_::accepts applause and leaves the room. Where at that moment a little fuzzy rabbit about 2 kilos with a burglars mask runs around…::_

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So… I've done a little study about these creatures. For the Dutch, research about Plot bunnies and my own opinion about them. It resulted in this story above, but it begun with this:

**Omnicat:**

Tondeuse… hair… plot bunny… Trowa… Duo… Wufei… no, cut the last one…

I KNOW WHY PEOPLE WRITE FANFICTION!

Because they are infected by Plot bunnies:D

No, no, serious people! It isn't curiousity about how a certain persona would be in certain situations or the urge to do it your way, that is just a symptom of the plotbunny disease! It is a big complot and we are the pawns in that plot!

**Amy Hirosaki:**

Well… I've written certain stories just to see how certain chara's would react in certain situations ) there goes your theory… but sometimes your write ;)

**Omnicat:**

That you wanted to see how certain characters would react in sertain situations, that is because of the plot of plot bunnies! They plant ideas and curiousities into your head and you write and so you help them with their plans!! And we all do that, and we are their slaves, like in the Matrix!!!

o.O

Silver, you do agree with me, please Silver!?!?!?! You are a doctor, you can see how this plot bunny infection plays and influences us?! OO


	2. Latin

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Chapter 2: Names

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The Latin names of Plotbunnies:

Tekkadaious Plotbunnius: Tekkaman Plot bunny, mostly it can transform into a tekkaman and fights like one. It won't bite, but stings with it's main weapon and you have to write. Is known to be very aggressive.

Plotbunnius Gundamus Wingus: Gundam Wing Plot bunny. Can variety from very calm and gentle natured to very aggressive and dangerous. Be careful, these creatures will ALWAYS bite.

Plotbunniae Narutoria: Naruto Plot bunny, often shows itself as a fox or one of the chara's of Naruto. Can be an idiot.

Sailore Luna Plotbunny Cute: strange variant of the plot bunny, often seen as a cute woman with supernatural powers. Don't mistake this creature for Usagi or Chibi Usagi! (rabbit or little rabbit)

Roarus squeacus Plotbunnia: the biker mice from mars plot bunny. Unlike the other plotbunnies it drives around on a miniature motorcycle and shoots one in the ass. Be very cautious, it resembles often a mouse.

Elfus questus Plotbunnius: Elfquest plot bunny. Can take all sorts of shapes. Very shy and if cornered, very aggressive.

Tolkienus Plotbunniua: A Tolkien plot bunny, can also be a fairytale plot bunny.

Killer Plotbunny Deathus: It kills plotbunnies, causes writers or artists blocks and causes you to mourn for days for loosing your plotbunnies.

And these are just a few of the discovered plotbunnies. Have more names? Mail me!

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Part 2 in the idiotic rant of me! Expect Part 3! And a Dutch version! Muwahahahahahaha! 


	3. Behaviour of Plotbunnies

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Chapter 3: The behaviour of plotbunnies

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Plotbunnies live in the world of humans. They look like bunnies, they act like bunnies and they behave like bunnies. So, you can't see them.

Until they bite.

When you write stories for Tolkien, you find Tolkien-like plotbunnies. When you write for Tekkaman Blade, you find Tekkaman Blade-like plotbunnies. And so on, and so on. So, you won't be bitten by a Sailor Moon plot bunny when you aren't a fan of Sailor Moon - unless you want to be bitten. That's the key of being bitten by a plot bunny. You have to want it. You have to like the main story as read in a book or seen on television or seen on the internet, and then you'll be bitten. If you don't like the story, they won't bite you. Or an ill bunny has bitten you.

Most of the time, they are very calm and quiet. But when they bite you, or intent to bite you, that's the moment they pop up. You seen them running around, acting like they are in heat (the same behaviour when they make more plotbunnies, but those are adult activities will not be displayed here for this is not an adult story) so, they run, and suddenly; it bites. Can be in practically any body part. The best is in the fingers or in the toes, but not in the butt. Painful when you want to sit down to create the story.

At that point, before they bite, is the best moment to capture them and put them in little golden cages on the nightstand. It will rage and be a complete terror inside that little cage. Let it calm down and give it fantasy for dinner. So it will tamed and gentle natured and you can let yourself be bitten so you can write the story whenever you want and not when the plot bunny wants.

When written the story, some Plotbunnies die, others live on to complete the story or mate to make more plotbunnies – this causes the variety of chapters in a story. One plot bunny equals one story, several plotbunnies equals several chapters or stories. In other occasions the plot bunny moves on to find more authors to bite or it disappears. Some remain with the writer for life.

That is the behaviour of the plot bunny.

The killer plot bunny is a different story. It seeks out plotbunnies and chases them away from the author. Be very careful with these creatures. They resemble plotbunnies but aren't plotbunnies at all. Often shown up when in difficult situation or after a difficult situation. They bite the author and drain the imagination, and kill the plot bunny with that. To kill a plot bunny killer you take a news paper, roll it up and smack the plot bunny at the tail. If lucky, you've killed it. If not, it will charge at once. Most of the times these creatures go together with Trollers and Flamers. They seem to be symbiotic.

Whatever you may find on your difficult path of being an artist, be careful with what you find and do.

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Greetings

Silver Winged Dragon, M.D.


End file.
